CATCHING UP VIA WEBSITES...
My sleeping schedule's been totally screwed up since I've been on break so I thought I'd check in on different websites to see how friends were doing. So I checked out Dick & Carolyn's website first (homepage.mac.com/familee/welcome.html) which has a fantastic links page. Browsing thru the different sites was very eye-opening-- particularly Victor's (www.victorwshen.blogspot.com). There were some very passionate writings/write-ins from various people wrestling with church-related issues. I did not write in immediately, feeling that I needed more time to process through my own thoughts as well as those others have expressed. I found both disturbing and refreshing-- perhaps provoking is a fitting word here. I was encouraged to see people struggling because struggle is a sign of life.

RISE UP, CHURCH!
Just today I've had several discussions w/people concerning how deeply I want to see those who call themselves Christians get off their butts and start living out the lives the Lord's called them to. It's not just our church. I'm not talking specifically about CEFC-- it's churches all over the world. One of the privileges I have as a Covenant Player is the opportunity to minister and worship in a different church on any given Sunday-- anything from Baptist to Pentecostal and almost everything in between. I'd say I probably take part in roughly 45-100 churches per year. There are a lot of churches out there-- with a small percentage of them being healthy ones.

BEING A MISSIONARY "ON BREAK"...
More and more I realize that I have no break as a missionary. I can have a break from road life -- from traveling and performing. But I have no break from who I am-- that is, who the Lord's called me to be-- His disciple, His servant. I say this not as a complaint but as plain truth. I have no break from the urgency I feel to see the church rise up-- to see my brothers and sisters find true freedom thru total submission. The Paul who was in chains for Christ was the same Paul who proclaimed that we are free in Christ. Pretty phenomenal, isn't it? If we aren't living abundantly, it's because we haven't submitted totally.

Bon and I are speaking in Koinonia this Friday at church (7:30 pm). There's so much on my heart. I'll need discernment as to what is really from the Lord. In some ways being back home is difficult for me as I discover more and more that it gets harder and harder to relate to people sometimes. But perhaps my job as a missionary "on break" is not to make people feel comfortable, but rather, to stir people out of their comfort zones.

CHRISTMAS DAY... a much better day...

Baby Aaron (my two wk old nephew) was the center of attention as Sharon's in-laws and our family had a huge Christmas dinner...boy, was it huge...All the "American" stuff: turkey, stuffing, Butch's famous gourmet mashed potatoes, yams, cranberry sauce, dinner rolls, and broccoli PLUS some Asian favorites: duck, salted chicken, "char siu", and a salad w/Japanese dressing. Oh, and real Columbian coffee (as in actually from Columbia) after...mmmmmmmm!!!

The only thing that might have made this Christmas day even better would be if I could somehow be in Poland simultaneously. I miss the people there like crazy and Europe is just such a beautiful place to be in at Christmas time. Maybe someday I'll be back. I think so. But for now, I'm glad I could spend Christmas back home in the States w/my family and our in-laws.

As for gifts... not alot this year nor anything extravagant. But I don't actually mind. Gifts and Christmas shopping hasn't really been a priority for me this year. Of course I would still love to find some presents for my friends/family, but I don't really feel the pressure that I know alot of people feel (and I have in the past) of being obligated to shower people w/gifts.

Bon was talking to me last night about the different ways people give and receive love and I'm beginning to think that perhaps my "love language" has shifted a bit. I think that gift-giving used to be one of the primary ways I showed love (and to some extent, it still is when it comes to people who do not have the means to attain what they would wish for) but I think that in the past few years it's shifted more to service as an expression of love. I guess that perhaps your mentality changes, too when you're involved in full-time ministry.

Anyway, I'll just wrap up now w/ a "Merry Christmas" to everyone. I wish I could be with everyone all around the world at the same time! Some day-- in heaven-- I will be. :)

A crappy Christmas Eve... ok, this is totally gonna be a grumbling entry so skip it if you don't wanna see this side of me...Officially it's now Christmas day (since it's 3:37am) but I feel like the previous day hasn't ended since I haven't gone to sleep yet. Anyway, as I was saying..yeah, it's been a pretty bad day. In fact, it might even rank up in the #2 spot for worst Christmas eve's I've ever had. The #1 spot for my worst Christmas eve is a long way off-- I spent it alone in my apartment by choice one year, back in my college days as I was trying to deal w/some huge hurts at the time and almost killed myself. So by comparison, this wasn't so bad...but still...it was pretty bad. Just filled w/arguments btwn my sis and i and then later, disappointment/anger b/c what was planned as a family dinner never came to be. Just alot of yelling and crying and temper tantrum throwing all around today.

Tomorrow (or later today) is a new day, I guess.

One nice thing was that I got to hang out w/a great mix of people after the church's Christmas eve service. Richard & Dan (who always makes my day),Eunice, Tyrone, Hubert, Bonnie, Suzanne, Charles & Lisa, and Danette's Uncle Eddie and Auntie Jois (just baptized this past Sunday-- yea!) and their kids Michael and Maris. It was just a really neat mix of people and I enjoyed that. And Uncle Eddie was very kind and generous to treat us all which really touched me.

Oh! The other cool thing was that I guess I'm slowly easing into this new technology thing. I know it sounds ridiculously simple to you computer types, but I didn't know that I could print stuff from my laptop to our printer at home just by connecting a USB cord. That was a pretty cool discovery tonight and I made good use of it. :)

Ok. I'm feeling better as I'm writing. Maybe I'll go apologize or something.

My friend, Nathan said I had to update my blogspot 'cause everytime he went to look at it, he saw the "I'm feeling grouchy..." statement...

Anyway, tonight, i'm feeling tired but kind of blabbery...First of all, YEA! IT'S GREAT TO BE BACK HOME! Do you people know how spoiled you are to live in California? It was so beautiful yesterday. I could hardly believe it was December-- esp. after having just returned form the E. Coast. You know what else? Do you know how awesome it is to fly in at night and look at all the beautiful city lights lit up and see how organized and logical the roads are from an aerial perspective??? I came home w/a new appreciation for the layout of our streets. I had the "pleasure" of navigating most of the time this tour and I tell ya, there are so many places that are extremely and excrutiatingly frustrating to navigate in b/c the maps and the layouts of the roads make absolutely no sense-- that or the streets aren't even marked. New Jersey was the worst I think.

Anyway, the big news here is that MY SISTER, SHARON HAD A BABY!!! My first nephew, Aaron Irving Yu was born on December 10th. He's a big baby. Sharon was glad she didn't carry him all the way to the 15th (which was his estimated due date). I, unfortunately missed all the excitement as I was across the country in Deleware at the time. But Bonbon was there for the whole thing. Even cheered her on along w/my brother-in-law. Anyway, everyone's really excited. First grandchild for my parents. First nephew for my sister and I-- the delinquent missionary aunts. I couldn't wait to see him so Bonnie took me over after we left the airport at 12:22am (Friday morning). He was asleep but it was very exciting anyway. Sharon looks great. And Butch is so good about waking up to take care of little Aaron, too. (I need a nickname for he baby, by the way.) Even tho' they're tired, they just look really happy. I dunno, I think when the Lord blesses you with a child, he gives you a new kind of tenderheartedness, too.

Back on the homefront here, Daddy's sick. I took him to the doctor today. He has a throat infection and it's pretty bad-- particularly bc he's diabetic too and there can be alot of complications. He needs as much prayer as he can get. I feel so bad for him.

I didn't do too much today which I think was a really good thing. I still didn't get quite as much rest as I know my body needs but I think it was at least, good discipline for me to not run around. Part of me feels a bit bad b/c I haven't done any Christmas shopping or written cards and all the "Christmas stuff" and I know that I'll probably not get to it since I've got jury duty starting Monday. I do like giving gifts to my friends and family, and I do want to show my appreciation and love for people through giving, but I also knew that I really need to let my break be a break. Christmas shopping is not exactly restful. So please understand and forgive me for being empty-handed this year. It would be nice if break started a bit earlier, but that wasn't the case and it's all right. I was where I needed to be.

I'm still processing through lessons learned this mission. There's always so much to think/process through and reflect on. I know that one of the big things we talked a lot about the last few weeks was being able to see everything as a gift from the Lord. It's really stuck w/me and I feel that He's doing some major work on me in this area. And I dunno, it's hard to describe, but I just feel really different-- in a good way.

Just on more thing before I stop for tonight...One of the coolest things about coming home this time was being able to see the Lord in action at our church. How encouraging it was to come home to our church on Friday night and see someone give their life over to the Lord and several more rededicate their lives to the Lord at the college outreach. That was just awesome. What a privilege and a joy to be able to see that after just having returned home from the "mission field." I realize I can't ever be on break from the mission field. It's everywhere. It's over in Poland, it's over in Scandanavia, it's in Africa, it's across the States, and it's here in Monterey Park / Montebello.

I'm so grouchy right now. I think I'm just really really tired and need sleep.

Anyway, yesterday was an incredible day. We had no place to be (as far as ministry) b/c both our church performances were cancelled and despite numerous calls and visits, we had no "luck" in finding a church that was open to having us on such short notice. So we visited a pretty big size Pentecostal Church called King's River Worship Center in St. Albans, WV. (One of the things I love about doing what we do is that on any weekwe might be at a Baptist church on Sunday morning, a pentecostal church in the evening, a Methodist church on Wednesday night...you get the picture.) Anyway, getting on w/the story, we were very warmly greeted by some older folks (hospitality is a wonderful ministry, I tell ya) and then we spoke w/a staff member. We explained who we were, what we do, the usual stuff. The pastor couldn't meet but he said He'd take it to the Lord and leave it up to Him. 5 minutes later, the youth pastor walked in and asked "How would you guys like to do a play?" (Actually, he said "skit" but they're plays!) "Service will start in about 2 minutes."

So we got some chairs and did a play at the beginning of the service about where our treasures are the priority the Lord's word ought to have in our lives. So here's the crazy thing: I could barely get the last line out because I suddenly had this horrible, uncontrollable itching in my throat so that I could hardly squeeze out the words "an eternity" when asked how long I was willing to put into studying the Bible. Very interesting, huh? The Enemy clearly didn't want those words to come out. Turns out everyone heard it anyway.

It gets even more interesting...the coughing got worse and I could hardly breathe and felt like I was being choked. I snuck out of the service quickly and went to the bathroom and started vomiting very violently. So I just squeezed out the words "Jesus, Jesus" over and over and then it all stopped. How's that for spiritual warfare?

The only thing I like about those kinds of experiences (which don't happen that often but do happen once in a while for me) is that it reminds me that I'm still fighting the good fight and I always get to catch a glimpse of th in the end. So again, it's worth it.

Oh, this story continues to get better, as the pastor was about to preach, he stopped to say "Will someone on the staff please take care of them? Will you take them to lunch and give them a gift?" So they treated us to TGIF's and gave us a check for $300.00 We were so blessed. And we felt that the Lord redeemed our being cheated out of two offerings last week at another church.

God is good.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DADDY

Just in case you're reading, Dad...Happy Birthday.

The Lord's really blessed me w/an incredible family. Truly. They've been my best friends these past few years. Years that have been both difficult as well as extremely fulfilling as I've gone into ministry w/Covenant Players. I've seen some rough times on the road and on different teams, and as I go thru my personal journey w/the Lord...and they've been there through it all.

Thanksgiving Dayat Shoney's... Thanksgiving this year was little bit out of the ordinary for me. I was actually quite homesick. Here's what happened. We were very blessed to stay w/The Freys (super special hosts) but they had prior obligations w/ their daughter's extended family. But they wanted to make sure we had somewhere to be, so they purchased gift certificates for us at a restaurant chain called Shoney's. A very very sweet and generous, out-of-the-way gift from them to us. The gesture was one of love and kindness. But as we sat at a restaurant having our Thanksgiving meal in an impersonal environment, I became more and more homesick. It was the first time on the road for me, that I wasn't surrounded w/a family-type environment and it was-- frankly, depressing to me. And in my homesickness, I ticked off my team leader because I snapped at her a bit for feeling like she didn't understand and wouldn't let me just go through what I needed to go through.

It's not that we ought to sit around and wallow in self-pity, but I do believe that it is perfectly healthy (and often neccessary) for us to go through the process of feeling our pain/sadness and to walk through that valley. We don't walk it alone. I really felt like the Lord had something to say to me in that time of missing home and longing for a place to "belong."

Hours later after the Shoney's fiasco, I talked w/my family back home (except for Bonbon who I couldn't reach in Columbia), and what I needed to hear from the Lord came through my mother-- an incredibly Godly and wise woman for those of you who might not know her too well. She told me that she often felt that her heart and spirit was very close to mine, as I think she really felt what I was going through. And she shared w/me that although they missed me back home and although I missed them, the most important things was that I was doing the Lord's work. And this homesickness and the other things that I find difficult about road life (lack of privacy, lack of ample solitude time...) were things that were part of the sacrifice I made for the Lord. And it's true that I do, in a sense, give up my freedom, my privacy, my family/friends back home-- but it was a wonderful reminder that it's all worth it.

There's a beautiful song in Polish that talks about how there's nothing better than to know and to trust the Lord.