FIVE MODES OF TRANSPORTATION... hosts' vehicles, train, bus, taxi, and ferry... all of which i'll need to take to get to my mission area...
SEVENTY-ONE HOURS... is about how long it will take btwn the train, bus, and ferry...
Am I stressed??? YES!!!
My mission area is Alaska, the Yukon Territory, and parts of Northern British Columbia. But getting up there is proving to be a challenge as our vehicle is in Juneau, awaiting our arrival in four wks (--we serve in other parts of Alaska first). This area is so different from any other touring area and I've faced so many challenges already just trying to get us going.
Safety and sanity are major concerns this week.
It might be a while before I update again depending on what internet access is like up there and how crazy my schedule gets as well. We'll see.

So much has happened in the last few days...Sunday, Laura Lee and Afua and I performed at CEFC. What a privilege it was to be able to share my current ministry w/my home church. I wasn't completely pleased w/my performing but you know, it's so true that the Lord still works despite our imperfections. I've heard some really good feedback that's just really encouraged me.

Since Monday, I've had several talks w/the world music director, the world acting director, and one of the vice-presidents of Covenant Player about the possibility of sending me out as a unit leader this tour. For a while it looked like I'd have one more mission before that happened. Then it looked like I'd be co-leading w/Afua which made me really happy. But then today, the "bomb" was dropped on me...

SHOCK #1: I'll be leading a unit on my own.

SHOCK #2: I won't be touring Catalyst (music/drama team). This was actually the bigger shocker to me. I guess that wasn't one of the two options I was expecting. But I did say that I would be willing to go where they needed me to go and they really needed another leader to go out on the drama units.

I cried like a baby when they announced it to the other Covenant Players. Most people thought those were tears of fear. They weren't. A few recognized them as what they were: tears of heartache knowing that my love for ministering thru music was going to have to be placed on hold at the very least. One of the few that recognized that imparted wise and hopeful words to me: "Don't forget that someday God will return to you what you have given over to Him."

SHOCK #3: Finding out where I'll be going: ALASKA. I freaked out when Bobbi told me. I know that she was giving me this area as an honor-- it's so different from any of the contiguous states. It's a special area to her. It's breath-takingly beautiful, it's multi-cultural, it's full of adventure, and the people there are so real. I guess I just freaked b/c it's so foreign to me-- yet another unknown added to all the other unknowns. To be honest, I feel overwhelmingly inadequate.

I need prayer like crazy. I need to pray like crazy.

Meanwhile, I'm still trying to stay focused for a very big performance tomorrow night and Sunday morning. I'd better get to sleep or I'll not be able to face the day tomorrow.

Lord, help me. I can't do this on my own.

RETREAT DAY...
Today we had a Retreat day for Covenant Players. No classes, no rehearsing. Just a special time of worship, a very impacting play about gratitude (revolving around one of the lepers Jesus healed that did NOT return to thank him), and a very powerful vision for more recruits worldwide.

This summer we saw God do the "impossible"-- He brought almost all the Covenant Players worldwide (almost 300) together for our 40th anniversary-- realizing a long time dream of our founder. This was made possible thru much prayer and the generosity of many who partnered w/us in sharing this vision.

The leadership shared today that they feel that we are to continue to build off of this faith that the Lord has increased in all of us through this experience. Our offering back to Him: Our prayers asking for 80 recruits for this August worldwide-- 40 from our campus, 20 from Europe, 10 from Australia, 5 from South America, and 5 from Africa/South Africa.

Afua (my teammate from last mission) and I believe that we really need to call out to the Lord for a Revival within our own ministry first. Because when outsiders see that our ministry is filled w/vibrant, Spirit-filled disciples (rather than disgruntled and exhausted laborers), of course they'll be much more excited/drawn to this ministry too.

We need prayers. We need help. We need the word to get out about our ministry for those who believe in it.

Our faith is really being increased and we're beginning to learn what it means to PRAY BIG and BE EXPECTANT.

What a roller-coaster ride it's been:

HONOR...
It was a huge honor to be awarded a special Support award by Covenant Players at our annual banquet on Saturday. I find it incredibly humbling to be given recognition for something like that. The Lord has called us to use our freedom to serve on another in love (Gal.5) and I feel like I still have so much to learn about that. But it was nice to know that at least my efforts to honor that meant something (and hopefully made a difference) to someone.
It was also a great honor to be cast in a special production in celebration as well as exhortation to the path we've chosen as Covenant Players. Actually it was quite humbling and a bit intimidating to be cast in this project in which i was the "baby". Aside from one other person, the entire cast was made up of long-time veterans (several who have been in for more than 20 years). It wasn't my best performance but it was alright and I know that the Lord accomplished what He wanted to.

HUMILIATION...The horrible thing was that at the end of the production, I was supposed to play "Old Rugged Cross" on my flute-- no accompaniment, no singing, nothing but the stark naked sound of my flute-- a flute that was in need of repair. It sounded horrible. I know alot of people probably think I'm exaggerating but it's true. It was awful because notes weren't coming out. I felt like I was living out an unbearable nightmare and what probably lasted less than 30 seconds felt like an eternity. I kept debating quitting in the middle of it. At least the last note came out.

THE CONSEQUENCE...So I spent the rest of the evening feeling like crap, I went to sleep feeling like crap, I woke up feeling like crap, and I spent until 4pm today feeling like crap. To me it wasn't just about messing up (which was horrible enough) but it was also coming face to face w/the consequences of my arrogance. Why couldn't I have had the humility to see that I could not handle a flute that was not in good playing condition. Why instead did I trust I could override that fact by my own abilities. It was a really bad call. Pride goes before the fall. And fall, I did. God did not honor my prayer before the performance to make my flute play beautifully, because I prided myself in my abilities and that was not at all an honorable thing.

THE CROSS...
Mercifully, He did not let me go on like this. I knew I was killing myself by replaying this over and over instead of saying sorry and just laying it at the cross. Guilt and Shame do not equate to Release and Acceptance of what the Lord did for us at the cross. I saw that in not being able to forgive myself, I was in effect saying that the Cross was not enough for me-- that my sin was beyond what Christ's Blood could cover. And I know that's not true. It's impossible to understand and sometimes very difficult to accept. But I had to. And slowly, I'm starting to get over it.

Anyway, all I can say is thank You, Jesus.

MY FIRST DVD... i've held out for almost five months but today i finally broke down. i did it. i purchased a DVD for my laptop. i'm so silly. i haven't bought anything all this time b/c i figured my first purchase should be something special-- something i REALLY liked-- something i'd seen several times before and knew i would see several more times. i was thinking something light-hearted w/a "feel-good" ending-- "Shrek" or maybe a Disney movie. or perhaps something more artsy and exquisite like "Enchanted April" or "Babette's Feast." but the other catch (being Chinese and also being in full-time ministry) was that it had to be at a really good price. so what did i finally pick up to christen my DVD player with? "The Wedding Singer" (starring Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore). Yep. I christened my DVD player w/the "Wedding Singer". I'd be curious to hear my friends' reviews on my first DVD selection.

last days of break... Just when I start getting comfortable w/one world, it's time to return to my other world. (sigh) It's not that I don't want to go back to training. It's just that there's so much to be missed back home-- friends, family (inc. my new baby nephew whom I'm babysitting for the last night untl next summer), food, tapioca milk tea...I'll still get a little bit more of all these things in before I actually have to get back on the road (at the end of January), but it's a lot more difficult when I'm out in Oxnard. and it's a bit of a weaning process for me.

my friends should be happy to know that I should be a lot better about keeping up these posts this mission since Daryl (thanks a bunch!) just got my internet account all sorted on my laptop. still, i can't make any promises since my time/schedule is always dependent upon numerous factors (performance/rehearsal/unit/host's schedules). when it comes to road-life, my time is not quite my own.

come to think of it, probably one of the things i love most about being on break is that my time is my own to decide how i will spend it. hopefully, they're good choices. at any rate, they're mine to make. perhaps i ought to choose some zzzzz's right now since it might not be long before little aaron wakes me up. boy, he's worth it though.

g'night... hopefully.

SHARING IN KOINONIA (YOUNG ADULT FELLOWSHIP)... My sis (Bonnie) and I shared about our ministries tonight. Boy, we really procrastinated in getting it all organized. (Actually, it was quite difficult to coordinate our schedules...then again, maybe that's just an excuse...) I think it went well. It's always hard to judge your own talks, though, you know? We're probably our hardest critics. But we got some pretty good feedback. That was nice to know it hit someone/somewhere. (Wouldn't want it to be irrelevant to people,ya know-- or why bother?)

Anyway, the process of preparing for the talk (although a little stressful) was a very good one. The hardest part was trying to narrow down what we wanted to say. Both of us had done some brainstorming on our own. Then we sat down and jotted down lessons that we learned these last few months through our experiences. We tried to find the main focal points and a string of continuity. It was good to see that our hearts were in unison as far as where we wanted to end up: a challenge to our brothers and sisters to "STEP IT UP"-- (which became the title of our talk).

HAPPY NEW YEAR...As we ring in the new year, I'm thankful for the experiences of 2003 that the Lord entrusted to me. It's helped shape me into who I am today and who I want to be. Our desire (Bon and I) is to see our brothers and sisters (as well as ourselves) look into what the next step might be (in our journeys w/the Lord) and to do something about it. As Graham Cooke puts it: "You can't go back and you can't stay here. What are you going to do?"

SPIRITUAL SIGHT...As in 2003, I continue to pray that the Lord would open my eyes to see His glory and His ways. I don't want to forget the lessons learned. I want to go further w/it. I want to walk in His light. I want to walk in His ways. And I want to see His face-- not just His hand of blessing-- but His face.