Thursday, July 22, 2004
my last few minutes of being 30 years old...
this is it...seven more minutes til my birthday. actually, technically i've got a couple more hours since i wasn't born until 7:23am. how fitting it is that these last few days i feel as if i've been transitioning into a new season. i can't really explain it fully. i don't think i totally understand it. i just feel like God is at work and although i am feeling a bit restless, it is a good feeling because i know good things are to come.
i realize i'm speaking in really abstract terms right now. it just seems simpler to me. to detail everything would be at least an hour's worth of writing (--which i can't really afford right now). i'll just rattle off some key factors...a book called "Brokeness: The Heart God Revives" (by Nancy Leigh DeMoss) I "happened to stumble upon" the day before heading up to a five day Covenant Player retreat (July 12-16), a spiritual gifts inventory taken at the retreat which served to confirm some things i've been hesitant to accept (...more on this some other time...), lots of prayer and lots of trying to listen for the Lord's voice. i haven't suddenly been hit on the head by a heavenly bolt of lightning (although i sometimes think I'd prefer to hear him speaking that way). i just sense that the Lord is doing a new thing in me.
it's been a rough last couple of years for me. lots of heartbreak (in many different ways-- not just guy stuff), tons of challenges, some broken dreams, but also many victories along the way. i've often semi-jokingly (stress is on the "semi") claimed that I really believe that the road I've been called to travel is a very rough one-- in many aspects, much more tedious and painful than many of my fellow brothers and sisters-- but i've come to accept that. at any rate, i'm beginning to feel like i just might be on the brink of a more refreshing part of the journey...maybe even some streams along the way. that'd be nice.
my writing's getting more and more flowery which is a pretty good sign that perhaps it's time to head to bed-- especially if i want to be a gracious princess tomorrow and not an evil one.
happy birthdays to liz and eunice (as well as some old high school friends and family friends...)
this is it...seven more minutes til my birthday. actually, technically i've got a couple more hours since i wasn't born until 7:23am. how fitting it is that these last few days i feel as if i've been transitioning into a new season. i can't really explain it fully. i don't think i totally understand it. i just feel like God is at work and although i am feeling a bit restless, it is a good feeling because i know good things are to come.
i realize i'm speaking in really abstract terms right now. it just seems simpler to me. to detail everything would be at least an hour's worth of writing (--which i can't really afford right now). i'll just rattle off some key factors...a book called "Brokeness: The Heart God Revives" (by Nancy Leigh DeMoss) I "happened to stumble upon" the day before heading up to a five day Covenant Player retreat (July 12-16), a spiritual gifts inventory taken at the retreat which served to confirm some things i've been hesitant to accept (...more on this some other time...), lots of prayer and lots of trying to listen for the Lord's voice. i haven't suddenly been hit on the head by a heavenly bolt of lightning (although i sometimes think I'd prefer to hear him speaking that way). i just sense that the Lord is doing a new thing in me.
it's been a rough last couple of years for me. lots of heartbreak (in many different ways-- not just guy stuff), tons of challenges, some broken dreams, but also many victories along the way. i've often semi-jokingly (stress is on the "semi") claimed that I really believe that the road I've been called to travel is a very rough one-- in many aspects, much more tedious and painful than many of my fellow brothers and sisters-- but i've come to accept that. at any rate, i'm beginning to feel like i just might be on the brink of a more refreshing part of the journey...maybe even some streams along the way. that'd be nice.
my writing's getting more and more flowery which is a pretty good sign that perhaps it's time to head to bed-- especially if i want to be a gracious princess tomorrow and not an evil one.
happy birthdays to liz and eunice (as well as some old high school friends and family friends...)
