last chance to squeeze one in....

i told you i'd try to blog at least once a month, so i just got this one in.

we're now in klaipeda, lithuania -- check your maps. it's along the coast of the Baltic Sea.
(can you find the Baltic Sea???) :)


on friendship & leadership...
we're almost halfway through mission but it doesn't feel that way. we have a lot of fun together.
to be honest, i don't think i've had that many units where we actually want to spend our free days together.
but it's so weird. i think this is the first time i've experienced it in the context of being a unit leader and
do you know what? it's actually really hard.

it's hard for the unit sometimes because they have to learn when they have amy as their friend and amy as
their unit leader/director. one minute i'm goofing off with them and the next minute i have to correct.
but it's also hard for me. i had a friend who once told me that she never wanted to be a unit leader (UL) because
it's a lonely job. and i never really experienced that... until now. and i think it does have to do with the fact
that we're all friends and we all really like each other and we want to be liked by each other (naturally).
plus, i think it's really hard as three-person unit. there's often the two-against-one dynamic much as
we try not to do it.
but as a UL, i have to make decisions on a regular basis that aren't always going to be liked.
as a UL, i'm automatically distanced to some degree at times.
as a UL, i'm stuck at a desk planning, working, stressing out (sometimes) with tons of stuff constantly
running through my mind while they have the time to laugh together, play together, take care of nurturing
other relationships and themselves.

i don't want to resent the position i'm in. it is both a responsibility and a privilege. but some days, it's hard.

i once had a UL who said that he couldn't be both a UL and a friend. somehow we managed. we were friends.
we are friends. but it was hard. i remember there came a point in mission where he felt it was just too
complicated. but at the same time we couldn't just say we weren't friends because that was completely
unnatural too. i'm not him. i'm me. i'm very much a relationship-oriented person and it's rare that i'll
tour with someone i don't become close to. but i think i understand a little better now why he held that
view.